Archive for January, 2008

being a student

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008

life took a 360 degree turn for me….i have to wake up early every day and the breaks are 1 and half hour each day…surprisingly i’m coping with the new lifestyle pretty well by now…

sometimes, whenever i’m alone, i started to miss my old life…most of all the freedom but being here, i learn a lot on how to be the professional that i want to be…i never thought that i will ever be in this profession…

things are now different….i have my career in front of me now….so clear like the bright  blue sky…..i know what i’m going to do for the next 27 years, gosh…that’s a long way to go.

so far, i have 3 mentors that i like for their right attitude towards their responsibility…i’m impressed with their knowledge as well as their expertise…

well, got much to do so, adios…(for now)

my life….

Saturday, January 19th, 2008

last few days were so hectic, my body ached all over…not to mention the crap about the year ahead of us….

at the very first, i had doubts about my decision in making a living out of this career….yet, after what i experienced 2day, i kinda enjoyed myself…well, that was a bit weird coz i know i HATE this thing….

still, i do have ample time to think this whole matter over…guess i’ll sleep on it for a while…

i met a few mentors 2day and frankly speaking, i like them….though i should hate them since i hate this line of duty…well, that’s crazy…or is it me that’s going beserk? gosh….my life is so crazy now…

apart from that, i received a bomb last nite and i just knew it….i felt it all along….guess i have to learn that some things just won’t change….thinking about it really strain my faith & patience…it just ain’t right….what else do YOU have in store for me, i wonder….

…..

Thursday, January 10th, 2008

This coming Monday, i’m gonna be a student, again…i don’t really know how to put down my thoughts & feelings…happy, excited, nervous, hatred, u name, i got it all…

actually, there is ONE big thing that keep on bothering me since i got the good news….i luurve my life, but because of this ONE big issue, the cloud of innuendos keep on shadowing me…people look 8 me with THAT look…it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what they are thinking…..who should i blame?? this is just not fair, it is WRONG, totally man….i don’t deserve this…..how could this happen??…….sometimes, the feelings of HATRED consume me, burning me from inside….and for that, i hate HER…

how can an angle breaks my heart?

Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

yeah, u read it right…i guess in every relationship, we tend to hurt the people we keep close to our heart…a minor detail could easily launch a 3rd world war…how silly…..with so little time left for us, why should i act like a b****?

i keep doubting his feelings now and again that finally he kind of give up…and i learned a very good lesson from it….gosh, a dose of my own med……

i don’t believe in long distance relationship coz to me, far from sight, far from heart…we had a long talk abt this and with his encouragement, i finally agreed to give it a shot….i hope i’m doing the right thing here otherwise, it is my heart that gonna breaks…

time will tell, so we’ll just have to wait and see then….

sayonara patm…

Thursday, January 3rd, 2008

finally the day came…

it was time for me to say goodbye….surprisingly, i didn’t really feel sad perhaps because i was mentally prepared plus, the one i truly care will always be in my heart no matter where i will go…

life goes on baby….however, a few weeks before, god knows how i cried my heart out….my collegues noticed my puffy eyes yet being polite, they didn’t say a word…i am truly grateful for their kind act…thanks guys..

i did see two of the closest students of mine to break the news….it was hard but the boy can accept it though obviously he was sad…how i hate to see him like that. as for the other one, a girl, she didn’t say a word throughout my explanation….she was struggling to control her tears and to keep her emotion under control…again, i hate seeing her like that…once i was finished, she just walked past me without saying a word and didn’t turn back…

i guess i broke her heart but i have to go…it’s time…where there’s hello, there’s goodbye….that’s life…

for the past two years, i had learned a lot from all of the PATM family members….i can’t thank them enough…

well, there’s new  life ahead of me and no matter how different it gonna be, i’ll go through it…God gives me this new adventure coz He knows, i can do it so there shall be no question.

till then, daaa!!!!